i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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