he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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