Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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