I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
