my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
