how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
