absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
