i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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