does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
