Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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