yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
