last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize