on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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