you would pick up someone in the library
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
