I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize