He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
