i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just googled if crying burns calories
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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