So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
