he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
