I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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