Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
