do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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