he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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