There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think my fart just growled at me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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