god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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