Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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