i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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