No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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