Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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