he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize