if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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