Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
