YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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