I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
