I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
