Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
