the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
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margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
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Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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