let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
