I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I look better un-naked...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
