Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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