his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
