Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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