It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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