Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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