Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
