How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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