in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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