He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....