I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
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Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him