Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life