Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
