I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
