i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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