margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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