New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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