i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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