He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
