he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
