the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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