Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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