In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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