Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
