Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
