oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I need to stop coming to work sober
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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